Someday I will feel like an adult

March 21

One of the things I hate about being a single parent is doing the “big stuff” alone.  I can do day to day stuff.  I am totally fine living alone with my 2 kids, I can run my house, my way.  I clean when I want, I make what I want for dinner, I purchase what I want and can have it delivered to my doorstep without any questions.  I can help my kids with school, I can run them anywhere they need to go.  That stuff is easy to me and I like that part of being a single parent.

I am not great at the big stuff, like vacations and road trips.  When they were 4 and 2  we  started to venture to the waterpark by ourselves because their dad never wanted to go.   It was close, we had summers off, and needed something to do.  We mastered our routine and it was a success.  We have since gone to Great America, just the 3 of us.  We made that a summer tradition for several years and it was successful!  The road trips and vacations are another story, but I know how important these experiences are for my kids, so I have to figure it out.

So far, we have enjoyed our summer Michigan trips.  They are easy.  We go stay with my college friends, their husbands, and their kids.  We are all family.  The husbands take over with my son because he is the only boy.  We all help out and enjoy our time on the lake.  

We took road trips to Wisconsin and St louis with my best friend and her kids.  We rented a minivan and were one big, happy family.  We have also done road trips and hotel stays with the travel baseball family, but on these trips I was never “alone.”  I was never the only adult.  I knew I had backup if anything happened and I needed it.

 I finally got brave and flew with my kids.  They were old enough and I saved enough money  to take them to DisneyLand.  The catch was that my dad lives in California.  We stayed with him, he rented us a hotel room at Disney for 2 days, dropped us off and picked us up.  I didn’t have to rent a hotel or rent a car.  My mom drove us to and from the airport here and my dad picked us up in California.  I really didn’t feel like an adult, and still didn’t feel alone.

Eventually, we will take a flight somewhere, just the three of us.  Someday, I want to do some sort of cross country road trip and stop along the way, but I am not brave enough for that yet.

A couple of months ago, my kids said they wanted to go somewhere for spring break.  I knew they didn’t mean to fly anywhere, with Covid, I am not at that point yet.  What I decided I was ready for right now is a weekend away, camping (in a cabin, not a tent) in Starved Rock.  We leave Friday after work and will be there until Sunday.  I am already questioning my decision.  It’s times like this, when I really hate being the only adult!  I am making lists of what we will need.  I am hoping it will all fit in my car!  We are bringing both dogs, which will add to the fun, and the chaos.  

I have no doubt our weekend will be memorable and fun!  My kids are easy going and do not have high expectations.  This is my hurdle to jump.  I am the one who has to find the cabin at night and unpack the car in the dark.  (This is when I hate my love for murder mysteries)  I am the one who will be responsible for hiking with 2 kids and 2 dogs.  I am already praying no one will get hurt.  I am the one who will have to start the grill and the fire pit, at night, even when I am not comfortable doing either.  You can’t go camping without grilling or smores!  I am the one who will worry the entire time I am there, hoping we will all stay safe because I hate knowing I am the only adult there!

This is the part of single parenting that stinks!  However, I refuse to let my kids miss out on anything.  If anything, I want them to experience more, to  see more, to travel more.  

Hopefully, my confidence with driving cross country and flying to fun, new places will grow.  I am a bit closer with each step I take!

6 thoughts on “Someday I will feel like an adult

  1. The girls have spring break the week after I do and I’m trying to salvage some time together to make it feel like a vacation for either of us. I want to travel soooo bad. I think I’m brave enough to go alone, but there’s always so many times that two adult heads are better than one. For me it’s water parks, pools restaurants and gas stations. If one has to go to the bathroom then we all have to go. I won’t enjoy one minute of my vacation if all I’m doing is watching their every move. There’s gotta be a happy medium. I love that you’ve had trips with friends that feel like family. Your parental help en route to California sounded awesome. So much money saved by having chauffeurs and a hotel to stay at!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re a good momma! ❤️
    When it’s just me and Reese on adventures I always feel the same way.. I’m always looking for the adult to tell me what to pack or what to do and what not.. and then realize I’m the adult. But you’re right we do it for them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You continue to be a brave single Momma!! You have created so many amazing memories for those two. You will handle this next adventure in the most awesome way!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel your worry and doubt! There is something about knowing that YOU are in charge and you can’t really blame anyone else for things that go wrong, or ask someone their thought on what you should do if something comes up. But you have already done so much with them. Once you get back you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

    Liked by 1 person

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